Top Ten Painful Moments
by demonprosecutor
Summary: Godot summarizes his top ten most emotionally/physically painful moments from Mia's first case to being put in prison.


Top Ten Most Painful Moments

By Godot

10. Killing Dahlia Hawthorne/Misty Fey: 

This sounds cruel, but its not. The killing her was easy – I actually enjoyed it. I felt that I was ending the life of an evil murderess. My mind was lost for a moment. Am moment was all that I needed.

9. Being Found Guilty

Surprisingly, this barely hurt at all. It was just what I needed – time. Time to think, write, and create music. Surprisingly, they let me do all these things. For once, Trite was right. But of course, despite being content about having this time, the time to relive those moments with Mia in my mind, I still felt a tiny bit of regret at getting caught. Who wouldn't?

8. Losing to Trite – twice

Now I'm looking back on it, this doesn't hurt me. But it did at the time. I blamed Trite for the death of Mia – it took me about twenty minutes to write the last sentence. I hated him. I really did. My plan was to crush him, make him lose every time. All I did was increase his happiness and self esteem. Of course it hurt!

7. Being Stabbed by Dahlia Hawthorne

I felt more anger than pain. There was a lot of physical pain, yes, but that didn't bother me. I knew that whatever happened, I could just hurt her back harder. Don't forget, my mind was having a blank moment; I was ignoring the fact that she could be either my one true love's mother or a little girl.

6. Being Poisoned by Dahlia Hawthorne

Naturally, I didn't know that I had been poisoned, but looking back now, I realise how stupid I had been, and that hurt. Big time. If I hadn't been so stupid, I wouldn't have been poisoned and my Mia would still be alive. It's my own stupid fault, and I have just as much share in the blame as that viper, Dahlia.

5. The Poison After-Effects

This was really painful, physically and emotionally. No sane person wouldn't feel the same. My hair was white, and people stared. They thought I was a lot older than I was, and that kind of crushed my ego a bit. But most of all, I couldn't see a thing without that stupid clunk of metal, and even then, I had a whole load of letters from Mia. They were written in red ink on white paper. I could never read them again.

4. Realising I'd killed Misty Fey

It took me a few minutes to figure this one out, and when I realised… Mia loved her mother so much. She talked about her all the time and had a photo of her on her bedside table. She would never forgive me, ever. And not just that, but when I looked at that kid with her eyes filled with tears and her hair pinned up in that ridiculous bun, I realised that I could have killed that poor little Pearl. And Maya, her face, her eyes so weak. She must hate me, and yet she tried to protect me? I just don't understand that.

3. Watching That Viper Crush Mia in Court

Mia's eyes filled with pain and desperation. And all I could do was yell metaphors about coffee and stupid worthless tips about smiling and not crying till it's all over. She was freaking out and I could do nothing but stand there grinning and drinking coffee. When I woke up and found out that it had nearly happened again, that that woman had had the nerve to stand up in court and testify to perfect innocence when she had already killed three times – I have never hated anyone like I hate Dahlia Hawthorne.

2. Losing Mia

Have you ever tried waking up from a coma and your second thought after coffee being, "Where's Mia?" So you ask the doctor about her, and they just give you this pitiful look, and you know exactly what it means… Well, it hurts. It just hurts.

1. Knowing It Was All My Fault

This one hurt more than anything else. If I hadn't been so selfish, stupid, arrogant, conceited and self-centred to go and meet Dahlia , then I wouldn't have been poisoned, I wouldn't have these repulsive after-effects, Misty Fey would be alive, I wouldn't be in prison, I would never have lost to Trite, I'd never have been stabbed in the eye, and Mia wouldn't be dead. It killed me, crushed me, and destroyed me. I wished I had died from that poison, but then realised that I'd see Mia up there and I'd realise what I'd done, so I just wished I'd never woken up from that goddamn coma, then I realised that Mia would be in Heaven and I'd be in Hell (if they existed, you can never tell till the very end). I went back to wishing I was dead. I considered suicide, but Terry did that and it crushed Mia's fragile soul. How could I hurt her like that?


End file.
